


an ache, a yearning

by cosmonautically



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Comfort, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 18:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10837140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmonautically/pseuds/cosmonautically
Summary: Josh starts to realize he wants more than friendship from Zach but is afraid to say so.





	an ache, a yearning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [couldaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/couldaughter/gifts).



> I've never written for this pairing before, but I love domesticity so here it is!! I hope you all like it, especially the recipient, Rosie. 
> 
> The title comes from "All That I Want" by The Weepies.

Josh really had to thank the universe for Zach Werenski. He couldn’t imagine a better roommate or friend. Of course, no one saw what he did. No one knew that Zach could actually smile, that he actually smiled a lot, or that he laughed. But he didn’t want to share this little piece of Zach with anyone. No, he wanted to keep that to himself. For himself. 

 

Mornings found him in the kitchen, wearing his favorite sweats and a loose t-shirt as he cooked breakfast. Bacon, eggs, sliced and fried potatoes, and toast were on the menu for today. Josh hummed along with the music from his phone as he fried the bacon, pushing it around in the skillet. 

 

“You know, that’s kinda loud,” Zach said, and Josh looked up at him. He rolled his eyes at him, and pointedly turned the volume up a little more. Zach slid onto a bar stool, arching a brow at Josh. “Yeah, thanks, that’s exactly what I wanted.”

 

Josh laughed quietly to himself before turning the music down. “Sleep okay?” he asked. Zach nodded, brushing his fingers through his mussed up hair. “Here, have some coffee.” Josh filled a mug and handed it over to him. 

 

“Thanks.” Zach took a sip, watching Josh. “Is it almost ready? I could smell it all the way in my room. Even with the door closed.” 

 

“Damn, I must be a good cook then,” Josh said, reaching for some plates. “Yeah, I’m just finishing up here anyway.” The music on his phone quieted as it dinged, signaling a text. 

 

“Most people just keep their phones on vibrate,” Zach said, as a way to complain about the annoying ding. Josh shot him a look but flicked the button at the side of his phone to silent it as he handed Zach a plate. 

 

“Here, big baby,” he said petulantly. Zach smirked and got up to race around the counter so he could beat Josh to the food. “Hey!”

 

Zach just laughed as he piled food onto his plate and headed for the table. Josh rolled his eyes and followed him. He put some food onto his own plate and moved to the table, “accidentally” kicking Zach as he sat down. 

 

Zach looked up at him with a smile as he dug into his food and Josh felt a weird sort of warmth flood his body, though he tried not to focus on it. It wasn't like it meant anything. 

 

*********************************************************

 

Josh felt weird. Every time he and Zach were alone, just hanging out in their apartment, he had the barely uncontrollable urge to cuddle up to his roommate. He shook it off as loneliness; the last time he’d had a girlfriend was a while back. He was too focused on hockey to really long for a relationship of that type. Girlfriends could be high maintenance sometimes, and Josh wasn’t ready for that while he was trying to earn and keep his spot on the Blue Jackets roster. 

 

“Hey, bring me some water,” Zach called as Josh padded into the main living area. 

 

“What am I? Your slave?” Josh asked, his voice light and teasing. Zach just laughed in response, focused on the video game he was playing. Josh grabbed an empty glass and filled it with water from their refrigerator, walking to the couch and handing it over. “You’re addicted to that.” He gestured at the television.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Zach said as he took a drink. “You’ve told me before.” Josh sat as close as he could without touching Zach, watching the way his friend’s fingers moved against the controller. He couldn’t help but imagine those same fingers tracing down his spine before he shook his head a little, trying to get rid of that thought. 

 

“Ready for the game tomorrow?” Josh chose to ask, to distract him from the dangerous thoughts going through his head. 

 

Zach laughed again. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he said. He must have noticed Josh’s tone because he glanced over at him. “Are you okay? You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

 

“Huh?” Josh asked, looking up at his face. “Oh. Yeah. I--I think I’m gonna go to bed.” That would be safer, because then he wouldn’t be here alone with Zach. Zach just made a noise of acknowledgement and Josh headed off back down the hall. 

 

Josh had no idea what was wrong with him. He had been totally fine with Zach had moved in. They had a great friendship. But lately something else was creeping in, some weird sort of crush feeling and it had him Googling “how to deal with a crush on your best friend” because there was no way in hell he could tell Zach how he felt. If he did that, he risked losing his roommate, and risked the rest of the team finding out that he was bisexual. He couldn’t have that. No one could know he was bisexual. Not yet. 

 

*********************************************************

 

Losing a game was never easy, but this one hit Josh harder than usual. He hadn’t been on his top game, and the team had tried compensating for him, but it didn’t turn out the way they’d hoped. They ended up losing 3-1 to Chicago, and once the game was finished, Josh was the first to leave the locker room, his bag hanging on his shoulder. 

 

Zach followed him, mostly because they’d ridden together, but also because he was concerned. Josh wasn’t usually this quiet. “Hey, it’s one game,” he said, his voice gentle. 

 

“Yeah, I know,” Josh said dejectedly. Zach didn’t say another word, but even just his presence was comforting to Josh. He suddenly didn’t want to go anywhere, instead he just wanted to stay here, where Zach was close because of the confines of the car, and he could just bask in the face that he wasn’t alone. 

 

But he couldn’t just sit here in the cab of his truck with Zach. So Josh stuck his key into the ignition and started it up, navigating easily back to their apartment. They didn’t live far away from the arena, but it was easier to drive back after the games rather than face the cold winter winds. 

 

“I’m going to bed,” Josh said as they entered the apartment. Most times they stayed up, played a few rounds of Call of Duty before hitting the sack, but he didn’t think he could do that today. Zach just shrugged and let him go. Josh crawled into his bed, staring at the wall for a while before finally getting back up. 

 

“Hey,” he said when he found himself at Zach’s doorway. Zach looked up from his phone at Josh. “Can I...can I join you?” 

 

Zach watched him for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, sure,” he said, moving over on the bed to let Josh in. Josh didn't hesitate to wrap himself completely around Zach, burying his face in the small space between his neck and shoulder. Zach laughed softly. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Josh mumbled, hissing when he felt Zach’s cold feet press against his legs. “Geez!”

 

“Well if you’re gonna be here, then you’ve gotta pay,” Zach said, grinning as he scrolled through Facebook. Josh just smiled, closing his eyes and enjoying the closeness.  He felt that strange warm feeling again. But he wasn’t going to fight it this time. This time, he was going to let himself enjoy it. 

 

Zach slowly traced his fingers up and down Josh’s spine, and Josh hummed, nuzzling closer. “That feels nice,” he muttered, exhaling softly. He felt Zach’s fingers dig in a little harder and rolled his eyes. “You’re the worst.”

 

“I thought it was funny,” Zach said with a smirk, which turned into a soft groan when Josh retaliated by biting his shoulder. “Hey, that’s not fair.”

 

“Whatever,” Josh said. Zach set his phone to the side and Josh leaned back, looking at him. “Are you gonna make me leave?”

 

“Not yet,” Zach said with a grin. “You don’t kick in your sleep, do you?” 

 

Josh laughed, shaking his head. “Wait. Do you?”

 

“Guess you’ll find that out, huh?” Zach said, wrapping his arms around Josh, holding him close. Josh felt the panic start to set in, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how this could change everything, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted this. He didn’t want to lose his best friend. “God, you’re like a space heater, jesus.”

 

Josh laughed. “I’ve got a fan in my bedroom,” he said. 

 

“Nah, I like it,” Zach answered. 

 

“Well, I’m glad,” he said. It was quiet for a long moment, and Josh almost thought that Zach had fallen asleep when he heard him speak again. 

 

“I like you, too,” Zach said, which made Josh’s heart stop. What was he supposed to say back? That he thought he was in love with Zach? That he couldn’t get Zach out of his head? Josh couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted him, and now was a good time to finally admit it to himself. 

 

“...I like you, too,” he said timidly, his throat dry. 

 

Zach laughed. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “You’re always staring at me with that look you get when you really want something.”

 

“What?” Josh asked, pulling back to look at him. “What look?”

 

“The look you get when you’re about to win at Call of Duty. Or when you see your food coming in the restaurant,” Zach said. Josh raised an eyebrow. “Okay, so I’ve been watching you.”

 

“What a creep,” Josh said with a smile. 

 

“Not as creepy as you,” Zach said, smirking as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Josh’s. Josh couldn’t stop the surprised sound that he made as they kissed, and when Zach pulled away, he took a moment before opening his eyes. 

 

“So that was a nice,” Josh said. 

 

“Yeah,” Zach said. “It was.” He grinned at Josh and shifted, tangling their legs together. “But now it’s sleep time.”

 

Josh laughed, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. “Whatever you say, Werenski,” he said as he settled into the pillow, really hoping that this wasn’t a dream. 

 

“Night, Andy.”

 

“Night, Zach.”

 

Okay, so their friendship may have changed with the kiss, but Josh had a feeling this was going to be great. At least he really hoped it would be great. He had to stop himself from over-thinking this or he’d never get to sleep. “You’re tense, Andy, shut up and sleep,” Zach mumbled and Josh couldn’t stop himself from chuckling. 

 

Zach was right. There was no sense in over-thinking this when it felt this good, when it felt right. Josh cuddled in closer, tucking himself under Zach’s chin, and as he listened to Zach’s breath even out, he followed, slowly drifting off into sleep. 

 

Even if this all turned out to be a dream, it was worth it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
